When Thomas was only a few days old, I remember already thinking, â€˜I want to do this again – I want another babyâ€™. Yes, I was probably off my face on the hormones coursing through my body, but even now that they have settled down, I still canâ€™t really believe that Thomas might be my last baby. Pete thinks Iâ€™m crazy – he says that there always has to be a last baby, and he makes all the sensible arguments about money, etc. But how do you know when enough is enough?
A friend of mine has a son about the same age as George, and I remember her telling me when they were both about one that she wanted another baby asap and was planning to have loads. Two years later – and having survived â€˜two under twoâ€™ – she says she is done! But even though Pete and I are in the thick of the sleeplessness and general craziness that come with life with two little kids, I still canâ€™t bring myself to accept that this is it.
But there is a lot to think about when it comes to having more children. Iâ€™ve had straightforward pregnancies but I didnâ€™t love the last oneÂ and I donâ€™t particularly want to go through that part again. Also, I doubt that, physically, thereâ€™d be any â€˜bouncing backâ€™Â from another one. But I would like to give birth again – I had a lovely home birth with Thomas and always feel like I am just amazing afterwards.
I also, like many people, have a love-hate relationship with babies. I find them really, really hard work – all the crying, the worrying about naps, the lack of sleep and no time to yourself – but then I just love thoseÂ Â little faces,Â the chubby little thighs and the feetÂ (Iâ€™m obsessed with babiesâ€™ feet).
Then there are all the things I will lose by having another child. One of the things Iâ€™m looking forward to this year is clawing back some more time for myself. Iâ€™m also looking forward to having my body back after being pregnant and breastfeeding for what feels like so long – soon Iâ€™ll be able to wear dresses and normal bras! Iâ€™m even planning a holiday away without the boys. I found life got a lot easier once George approached one year – he was sleeping better and didnâ€™t need me quite so intensely – so Iâ€™m hoping the same will happen with Thomas. Pete and I might even be able to go on a date night together in the near future! Will we really want to start all over again in a couple of years, just as things start to get easier?
Finally, thereâ€™s the issue of work – Iâ€™ve had two maternity leaves in the past couple of years. Even though itâ€™s not really a big deal – the bigger picture is that Iâ€™ll likely be working for the next 30 years – I feel ready to focus on work a bit more, too.
Also, it seems that most people these days stop at two children – or is that just me? Itâ€™s probably a consequence of city dwellers like Pete and I having to squeeze into tiny houses, coupled with prohibitive childcare costs. Maybe a third child really is too much of a luxury.
On the plus side, Iâ€™m still only 31, so Iâ€™ve got a few years left to decide. Who knows – I could end up like Clemmie of Gas and Air Blog, who got pregnant with her third child and discovered she was having twins (insert scream face emoji)!
Iâ€™d love to hear what you think. How many children are you planning to have/did you have and how did you know when you were done?